The 90-Day-Nice-Note Challenge
I find myself thinking kind thoughts about people and not sharing them. I also know how good it feels to get a thoughtful hand-written note.
I know I could be a lot better about:
Building people up.
Recognizing God’s grace and the goodness in others.
Sharing a kind word rather than keeping it to myself.
So if you are thinking, “same!” then I’d be honored if you did this challenge with me!
Each day, use the prompt to write a thoughtful handwritten note. Hand-deliver or mail it.
This is geared toward married mothers, but feel free to adapt the days that don’t quite fit your life and write to the person that best matches the prompt!
If you truly don’t have anyone to write to that fits the prompt description— choose your own adventure! Wing a nice note to someone who is on your heart my friend!
If you’re unable to write a nice note to any of these people because they are deceased or you are no longer communicating with them, I challenge you to follow the prompt anyway and keep the note even if you can’t or don’t feel comfortable sending it.
That being said, some of this is going to feel uncomfortable. But that is the point. We are going to grow together in our ability to see the good in others and speak positively into another’s existence, and ultimately, learn more about ourselves and how we can love others well.
Don’t be discouraged if you miss a day! Carry on! One nice note is better than none. Whether this challenge takes you 90 days or a whole year to complete, I really believe it’s worth doing.
The First 30 Days
Seeing the good.
We are warming up. The focus for the first 30 days is going to be about simply noticing good things and writing those observations in notes for people we don’t know well (or at all) and some people who we’re close with. Sometimes we humans find it easier to flex our kindness muscle with strangers, so that’s how we are going to ease into this challenge.
A peek at what’s to come:
We’ll be writing to strangers, acquaintances, people you knew in a past season of life, family members, and friends.
The prompts for these notes will surround observations of positive actions you’ve seen that person take or positive characteristics they have. It’s all about practicing our awareness of goodness.
You’ll be describing interactions and memories, and letting the person know you’re grateful for the good things they do/have done.
90 Day Nice Note Challenge:
Day 1. To one of your siblings. If you don’t have any, write one to a childhood friend, or someone who knew you as a kid. In your note, recall a fun memory you shared with them and instances where you’ve thought of it in your adult life. It could be funny, sad, chaotic, whatever comes up when you think of your brother/sister/friend.
Day 2. To a service worker you encounter regularly. A coffee barista, post office worker, gas station attendant, grocery store clerk, teacher, therapist, etc. In your note, tell them something you’ve noticed about them that’s positive (like their easy smile, how they interact with you and your kids). Let them know it’s special and doesn’t go unnoticed.
Day 3. To a teacher you had. In your note, describe a specific interaction you had with them that you think about from time to time. Acknowledge what you think their intent was at the time and that it landed… even if it took a while.
Day 4. To someone you follow on social media that you don’t know. It’s 2026, we all have an influencer that we love. Send them a note (yes a physical note not a DM, and find a way to mail it to them). Describe something you see them doing well and cheer them on!
Day 5. To a past co-worker. Someone you used to work with but don’t anymore. Write in your note some things you noticed about how they did their job well and how people positively responded to them at work.
Day 6. To someone you went to high school with. It can be someone you’re still friends with or someone you don’t see at all anymore. Write about a time back in the day when they made you laugh, even if they didn’t know it.
Day 7. To one of your closest friends. Write about how you saw how they handled a tough situation, major event or big life transition. Highlight what they did well, and let them know you’re grateful for their friendship.
Day 8. To your mom. Write a note about something she does better than anyone else you know.
Day 9. To your dad. Write a note about something he does better than anyone else you know.
Day 10. To whoever you want! Choose your own adventure time! Write a note to another sibling (or the same one again), friend, relative, or whoever comes up when you read “to whoever you want”! In this note describe a time when you witnessed them having an interaction with someone else and how you noticed that other person being positively impacted.
Day 11. To a teacher you know (or a mom who is homeschooling). I think chances are most people have a teacher in their circle. If you don’t, just send a general nice note to your local school district’s superintendent to share with staff. Write a note acknowledging the difficulties of their job, underline the importance of molding small minds, and express your gratitude for the work they do. If you know the person, give specific examples of ways you’ve seen them having an impact at work.
Day 12. To a priest, pastor, or leader of a community group you’re a part of. Write a note about something you see them doing well that you don’t think gets noticed or recognized often. Let them know you’re grateful for what they do.
Day 13. To a teen or pre-teen in your life. Ah, to be a teen. At some point in our teenage years I think we’ve all longed to feel more understood. Write a note to a teen in your life describing good qualities or character traits they have and how you’ve seen it positively impact people around them.
Day 14. To your oldest living relative. In your note, tell them a positive thing that other people always say about them. Let them know that positive character trait comes to mind when you think of them and write about a time they lived it out.
Day 15. To your spouse. Write a note about how you noticed something they did that made you smile that you don’t think they noticed you noticed. 👀
Day 16. To a mentor in your life. Write a nice note to someone who has served you as a mentor. It could be someone in the past or someone who is currently mentoring you. Point out their positive character and how that has built you up in your life. Write about a specific instance where they either changed your perspective or motivated you.
Day 17. To your kids. A note per kid. If you don’t have children, write a note to a kiddo in your life. Write them a note letting them know you noticed something they did or said that positively impacted your family and that you are grateful for the unique things they bring to your family that make it better because of them.
Day 18. To the non-nuclear family member you’ve always felt was a kindred spirit. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins. Write a note about when they did or said something in a very similar way to how you would have done or said it. Let them know you’re grateful for how they understand you.
Day 19. To someone you think is awesome who you wish you were better friends with but you’re not. Making new friends, or even getting to know acquaintances better, feels really scary. Let this person know why you think they are so cool and let them know you’d love to hang out for coffee or a walk sometime.
Day 20. To someone who loves your kids well. This could be a childcare worker, nanny, grandparent, family member or friend. Let them know about a moment you were touched watching them interact with one or more of your kids. Tell them how grateful you are that they are a part of your children' s lives.
Day 21. To someone you’re a little jealous of. Jealousy is tough. What helps overcome it is turning whatever it is you are jealous of into a celebration of that person. THEN SHARE IT WITH THEM. Point out all of the qualities and actions that have gotten this person to where they are. Celebrate it and emulate it if it’s an area you need to grow in. (Talking to myself here).
Day 22. To a sibling. Some more love for the sibs. Point out something they have done in the last year that you really admired them for. Let them know you’re proud to be their sibling.
Day 23. To your spouse. Let them know 3 things that they did that made you smile in the last week.
Day 24. To someone you think is hilarious. Write this note to whoever is really good at making you laugh. Point out why they are so fun to be around. Remind them of something funny they said to you once. Let them know you’re grateful for them.
Day 25. To an old friend. Let them know what you think their best character trait is and give an example of when you’ve seen it in action.
Day 26. To someone you know is kinda going through it right now. Write this note to someone you think is having a rough time currently. Point out character traits and actions that you’ve seen them display when getting through something hard before.
Day 27. To someone you know that shares a similar hobby or interest with you. Point out what you love about how they engage with the hobby. Let them know how it makes them interesting or unique.
Day 28. To someone who gave you a compliment once that you’ve never forgotten. Tell them about the compliment, then give them one!
Day 29. To a new mom. Let this lady know all the awesome things they are doing as they adjust to motherhood.
Day 30. To yourself! Write yourself a little thank-you note for sticking with this for 30 DAYS! Reflect on how you do or don’t feel changed by writing nice notes daily. Reflect on any responses you’ve gotten. How are you viewing others and yourself right now?
Middle 30 Days
Seeing the good, and how it impacts you.
We are heating up!
These prompts will be less specific about who you are writing the note to, and more focused on the what the note is about. We will focus on the good of others and how it has transformed your life in a positive way, however big or small. These notes will require more thoughtfulness and probably feel more vulnerable to write.
But let’s think about it… how GOOD does it feel when someone tells you how you changed the way they think, do, or act about something? Give that gift to the people who have touched your life!
A peek at what’s to come:
We’ll be writing to people you know, or knew, relatively well, or really well.
The prompts for these notes will surround a good thing someone said or did that changed your life, even just slightly, for the better. We are developing our awareness that nothing is wasted in this life. That every kindness shown to us has rippled outward after the fact.
You’ll be highlighting a conversation or event that leads to real change in your personal development, and touching on some ways you’ve done things differently (or the same) since.
Same as the first 30 days– if you’re drawing a blank on who to write to, just pick a person and write something nice to them.
90-Day-Nice-Note Challenge Continued
Day 31. To someone who encouraged you to keep going. Write about how what they said or did gave you what you needed to keep it up. Tell them how things continued from their kindness.
Day 32. To someone who challenged you. Write to someone who either said something, stayed silent, or did something that challenged you to be a better person.
Day 33. To someone who recommended something to you that you loved. Write to someone who recommended a movie, book, podcast, restaurant, face moisturizer— whatever it may have been that you ended up loving. Let them know how grateful you are for bringing it to your attention and all the ways it’s made your life better.
Day 34.To someone who you owe a thank-you. Write a thank-you note to someone who has helped you out lately, even in the smallest of ways.
Check back in tomorrow for a new prompt!
